Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Judgemental Moms

Today Sweet Pea had ballet and once again I regret the fact that I signed her up for a 2:oo p.m. class.  Hello can we say idiot because it's in the middle of nap time which means Monkey is usually crabby.  However, there are a few times when he's actually pretty good like today.  Everything was going fine until it was time to go, I had the unpleasure of tearing Monkey away from the crayons they had their.  Needless to say he was not a happy camper and proceeded to cry and scream, no maybe howl is a better word.  Anyway here he is throwing a fit and as I'm trying to leave they are all looking at me, no no staring at me as I'm trying to leave.  To try and make him stop I place my hand over his mouth and start patting it-you know where it sounds like they're making Indian sounds-because by that point I'm sure I have blood coming out of my ears; all the while trying to have a smile on my face. 

Now I'm sure something like this has never happened to any of these women because afterall they have so much more wisdom then me.  Ok so here comes my problem.  I have found that no matter where I go I seem to get looks from other moms who are older than I am.  I feel like they take one look at me and judge as if I'm 16 and have no clue to life more or less how to raise children.  EXCUSE ME!  For the record I'm 28 with two kids and while I might not know the meaning to life I do know how to raise my children.  And this isn't the first time I've experienced this or the first place-for example playgrounds.  Now I understand that in today's society it's normal for women in their mid 30's to early 40's to start a family but seriously what makes these women so much more wiser then me at 28 when it comes to children.  I know I can't be the only one who has felt like this or has even had this happen to.  I mean do you ever feel scrutinized by some of these women. 

And let's not stop there because I know there are older moms out there who feel just like me, except they're having moms around my age judging them.  Why is that?!?  I personally don't think age should be an issue but for some reason it is.  I don't know about any of you but I would think motherhood would be a bond for us; something that we all have in common.  We've all been through the sleepless nights, the worrying, and the adjustments to all that being a mom brings and yet there are many of us who can't seem to get along with anyone.  

Now please don't get me wrong there are some really nice moms at her dance studio who have been really nice to me, but there are always those few moms who just kind of look down at everyone else.

Anyway I just had to get this off my chest because today was the straw that broke this mama's back.  And I knew that I could come on here and vent because I know with all of you other moms out there I'm not alone and that you would totally understand.  So thank you ladies for being there and listening to me, and seriously what would I do if I didn't have y'all and my sister to talk to.  Oh I know drive David even more crazy than I do now.


Tracy said...

I've had this happen to me as well so you are definately not alone! I had Caroline just after my 20th birthday. I had met a woman with a boy close to Caroline's age at our church and we started meeting at the park and things like that. I always wondered why she would watch me so closely and one day I finally found out. She asked me how old I was and I told her 20. She said "Oh, you're just a baby yourself! No wonder you don't know what to do!" And by the way, I was doing a damn great job with Caroline!
I guess with some women, they just always need a competition in their lives. And I think that so many are so insecure that they are costantly watching for reasons why their child is better than everyone elses.
Don't let them get you down, I KNOW you're a wonderful mom!

Catwoman said...

There was a great article in a parenting magazine about that a few months ago, where they surveyed moms about if they felt judged.

And the younger moms felt they were judged more. And the older moms admitted that they tended to be more judgemental because they had more insecurities about having kids later.

So next time you feel like one of them is judging you, just tell yourself that it's not you, it's them and their insecurities.