Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Heels Dug In
Yesterday was Tuesday which means I'm taking Sweet Pea to ballet. Surprisingly she didn't complain the whole time she got dressed and seemed to be ok with going. Usually her response is "it's too hard", "it takes forever", or "it's boring." Like I said everything was fine even in the car and then we walk through the door--the moment we do she hit the brakes. I ask what's wrong and she say she's not going in to dance because she doesn't like it and thinks it's boring. So of course I tell her I didn't drive all the way out here for her not to dance and that she needed to go in there. Well I try to get her in the room and she straight up dug her heels in the ground and said "I'm not going in there!" So then I gave her two options: 1. sit in the classroom and watch or 2. sit with and watch; either way we weren't leaving until class was over. Well after 5 min of her pouting in the back of the classroom she finally decided to join her class. I really don't know what to do and this is the worst she's ever been. My sister thinks that I should take her out but if I do am I sending the wrong message. I mean she's about to 5 do they really know what they like to do and won't they find reasons to complain (not all the time, but you know what I mean). Anyway her recital is in May and she's just going to have to tough it out until then. Any suggestions would be helpful.
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8 comments:
Not sure about this one. My daughter, as you know, is the same age as yours. She LOVES her dance class. If she suddenly didn't, and I couldn't get to the bottom of why (or solve it sufficiently) I wouldn't force it on her. If we had paid tuition we couldn't get refunded or couldn't get a costume fee back, I might consider leaving her in, or least sitting on the sidelines like you did (great idea) until we were through the term. I might consider talking with her about being committed to her peers who are relying on her for the recital and turn it into a character building lesson about following through on commitments. But after the term/recital was over if she still didn't want to do it, I wouldn't push it. I think kids that age have clear ideas about what they like to do, and if we push them too hard or make it punishing, we may spoil their enthusiasm for it all together.
I taught private piano lessons for over 10 years, and I always encouraged parents not to force their kids, especially if they encouraged them to stick it out a reasonable amount of time/tried to problem solve, etc. If kids are not forced and if the experience is not punitive, they will come back to it if they have a genuine interest rather than having that interest remain squelched and never returning to it due to a bad experience.
So I guess much of your decision about this hinges on the balance of reasons she is not interested, if you can help her problem solve them, nurturing her desire to learn rather than forcing it and potentially killing her interest permanently, and what you want to teach her in this experience.
Good Luck!
They are just getting to the age where they start deciding what they like and don't like. Mine hated dance after the first year, but loves gymnastics and hip hop dance. She also plays soccer and loves it. there are times when she complains about the games and it hurting her legs, but we tell her once you sign up, you can't quit midstream, you have to stick it out and when season is over if you want we do not have to sign back up. Just tell her after the recital is over, you will not sign her up for the summer season. I would make her stick it out since May is just around the corner. but I would not make her go past that if she doesnt like it. If you just want to keep her active, see if she will enjoy some sort of summer sport instead. There is my opinion! It works for us, we have to teach them somehow that you dont quit in the middle!
Mine has begged to take gymnastics or some type of dance class and it's for this reason that I haven't allowed it yet. I wish I could be more helpful...
I like MGM's idea of telling her that they are depending on her. With my kids, it's always worked to convince them that they are part of something bigger than themselves and it can't all work right without all of it's parts.
I think that you should continue to take her and do what you did last night with the sitting in, atleast until this season is over. That way she'll atleast be familiar with the routine for the recital even if she doesn't take part in the class.
Did she like the class to begin with? I just wonder if something has happened or changed for her. I know Em had an occurance where the teacher had to correct her and she took it personally and for the next three weeks she didn't want to go.
Maybe you should ask the teacher if anything happened.
Let us know how it goes. Good luck!
Tagged you.
Man, that's so hard... I used to hate activities all the time and drop out of them, but I think my mom used to make us at least finish out the semester.
But it just sucks that you are spending money on something that she just decided she now doesn't like!
I guess that's life with kids, eh? I say you make her tough it out until May. She may change her mind as the recital gets nearer. And if she doesn't, guess it'll just be the end of her dancing career! :)
Jesse, where have you been? I hope everyone is ok! Come back soon!
Hello, I stumbled upon your blog from somewhere and this post caught my attention. I love to find other blogging dance moms! My daughter has been dancing since she was three and is about to have her 9th dance recital. She also does competitive dance. She LOVES dance, but it wasn't always like that. She was ready to give it up all together when her instructor got married and moved away. I insisted she try it one more year at a different studio -- and THAT made all the difference in the world. The new studio and new instructor inspired her so much. This lady teaches them not only to dance, but to LOVE to dance. Now my daughter would give up breathing before she gave up dance. Soooo...maybe trying a different studio??? Just a thought. Good luck. I'll check back in to hear how the recital went.
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